Hideosity – It’s Not Even a Word. Part 1

5 Sep

Have you ever had that one project that turns out incredibly awesome when it’s just an idea in your head, but then you actually try to make it happen and it just goes to crap? Like every imaginable thing that can go wrong, does?

I present to you….that project. Dun dun dun (that’s supposed to be ominous cartoon music.)

Oh, that?, you say. That doesn’t look ominous at all! That’s actually quite cute with the little pink giraffe and whatnot.

Let me start from the beginning. Many moons ago, I was a big, hormonal pregnant woman living in a two-bedroom apartment and I just needed a cute piece of furniture to put in the room of my unborn child in the house that we did not yet have. That, and Taco Bell cinnamon twists dipped in nacho cheese sauce. I needed it.

So the journey to find this holy grail of furniture began. I was so in love with this revamped dresser that I just had to find something exactly the same to have in my baby’s room! I had huge dreams of spending 20 bucks and having a fabulous dresser/changing table/beautiful heirloom. No such luck. So even after perusing Craigslist for months, I was still empty-handed. Until…

…this baby came along. No, it wasn’t real wood. So I couldn’t have my veneer makeover dreams fulfilled, but I liked the bones of this one. It originally had a mirror attached, but in my makeover excitement, I took it off before snapping this picture. I thought this would be an easy-as-pie project. A few coats of primer, a few coats of paint, a few coats of poly and bam, beautiful new piece of furniture. Sometimes I still laugh at how naive I was.

First things first…this dresser stunk. Like, bad. The original owner was a smoker, and this bad boy had been serving as a smoke sponge for 30-plus years. Not a fun smell. Still, I thought, no problem! I’ve googled solutions to this already! Most everything I found suggested cleaning the piece with a product called Krud Kutter, then wiping it down with white vinegar, then letting baking soda sit in the piece for a few days to soak up the stink. So that’s exactly what I did. Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I think I let that baking soda “soak” for about a week before finally vacuuming it out. Woohoo, it worked! Just kidding, that would’ve been wayyy to easy. Nope, now I had not only a stinky dresser, but also a stinky vacuum from trying to clean said stinky dresser. That’s when hormonal me may have started to lose it. Just a little bit. Back to google I went to find another solution to my stinky dresser. And that’s when I found it.

See that on the can? “BLOCKS HEAVY INTERIOR STAINS” And oh my, it does. This magical product was the only thing that would take the smoke smell out of this stupid dresser so my poor baby didn’t end up as “the stinky one in class.” It took three coats of this stuff to finally get rid of the stench completely. Three coats! I’m not exactly the most patient person, either, so this was sheer torture.Three days later, I had one perfectly primed, stink-free dresser ready for painting. Ok, so this picture doesn’t show it completely finished. I need to get better about picture-taking.

I’ll have to cover the painting part tomorrow.


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